Is it alright to write it all down?

Yes. I am sure my grandparents would think so. My Great Grandfather was Bishop of Cedar City for most of his life and Operated the Second Church Coop Mill built in Cedar Canyon. His mother was living with him, a blond toddler, and pregnant among the Panguitch Indians at the time of the massacre.

I'm sad about Hinkley's Death. His WWII Media experience made him a man for our times. Monson is going to be stumping for
the far right, I fear, and then it's hard to know where the ill of the Church, a disproportionate number from the downwind area of Utah and Arizona fit in. Various Bishops have lectured my mother on how she's supposed to be taking care of me. It's getting harder to do, since she's getting older.
But my grandmother lost two children during pine nut season--
one a late miscarriage and the other at the start of pine nut season and Atomic Testing.

I haven't seen the two children I pretty much raised since their children, now young adults with junior high kids as the babies of their families. I think it has to do with blessings
they gave me early in my illness--I didn't get better. Maybe they feel guilty, like they aren't good enough to pray effectivly.

I have a sweetheart who has Prostate Cancer, which is in remission--we've gone through much of it together. His stepfather was a Finn and today I learned olayhookela which
is something like Golly Gee Whilikers in Finnish. He is very
entertaining. He moved to Long Beach--near a Naval Base, thinking to make his living with his Sax, but then there was a mind of revolution in Jazz. He took a few years off to learn Guitar and put a band together while babysitting, then opened
for Ike and Tina Turner while his oldest daughter watched on the TV.

The Cancer cut off his career--sad because he is so good. His youngest grandchild had a series of heart attacks, so things were pretty rough for two or three years. The Hospital was a pretty nice place--surely no one was ever allowed to be unkind. School isn't like that at all. He's on the verge of getting suspended for fighting [back].

I was in the Hospital, in and out from Valentines day to just after Mother's day. I had huge absesses--one didn't show on the CT scan because it was encapsulated in a stone bubble around an infected abcess--inside there was a large staghorn
stone.

My families' response? My mother said in her Christmas letter
that I'd been in the hospital for a few days and lost a kidney. Oleyhookala. I just found it yesterday and was glad it lost itself in the area around my bed.

I have 5 Mormon Novels--serials, and so I try hard to stay alive. Then there is a longpoem and alot of poetry, most of it on line. My mothers family was in charge of the Church
property that was used to grow food and raise range animals for the poor. This included Mountain Meadows, so I'm somewhat ahead of non-ethnic-Mormons whose ancestors were around. An interesting Blog I found is called Wanderer in a Stange Land--
a Blogger or Blogspot Blog by a woman who just opened that old box of papers and is wondering whether she should tell all.

I think its time--and remember, this is the most important thing to remember, that the Massacre happened during war time
and these men were swearing to bring back a army to repeat
very specific war crimes which they bragged about comitting in Missouri and Illinois--it wasn't just the assasination of Joseph Smith.

If Brigham did anything it was to call a meeting that in particular required the attendance of Jacob Hamblin--a sin of omission. When Jacob caught up with the next wagon train
headed South he escorted them out of the territory and then rounded up all the cattle that hadn't been turned into Jerky and drove it South, then went back and found another train to escort out of the State.

He was equally respected by various tribes who had little
time for one another and was used by the Federal Government
both during the trial and after, as a translator and negotiator.

Kathleen Matheson Weber